I got what I wanted, but I didn’t let myself have it.
I was standing on a giant escalator in Tokyo.
Red suitcase beside me. Eyes wide open.
I made it.
My visa was stamped.
I had the internship.
I was there.
But my mind was saying:
They got the wrong guy.
The company will figure it out.
They’ll send you back.
This isn’t going to last.
You don’t belong here.
I had earned my place.
But part of me didn’t believe it.
So part of me never really arrived.
Never acknowledged the win.
Was this a win?
It didn’t feel like one.
Why did I work so hard in the first place to get here?
And my heart whispered,
“Enjoy.”
But I didn’t hear it then.
And that’s why I’m inviting you to listen now. 💜
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